Derby season has started. We have had practice and even a tournament. During all of this I had had to come to a reality. I think every girl in derby thinks they are great or at least good, I know I do. I think I have decent skills and can really contribute to the team in a bout and that I am needed on a roster. In reality that is not the truth, I work hard at practice but I don’t have the skills that other girls have. I get picked out at bouts as the girl that they can goat, hell it even happens at practice. I don’t get noticed by other teams or get told that I was amazing when I come off the track. I am the girl that doesn’t get the play time if it’s a close bout. Everything I learn, I have to work at – nothing comes naturally, and nothing stays learned I always have to keep at it or the skill is gone. Truth be told I think I was better when I started then I am now and maybe subconsciously my injury has me scared to try. I want to be the girl whose stomach is not in knots two weeks before the bout to see if I made the roster, I want to be good enough to be needed on the roster, not put on it because I put the time in.
So what am doing to correct this? I go to practice 4 days a week, 2 days are skills one day is scrimmage and one day is basic skating skills. I do this while working a full time job, having a husband, and working another show on the side. There are weeks I only see my husband a few hours because of practice, work, and away bouts. I do it because I love derby and I love my team but sometimes loving a sport does not mean you can play it.
So I had to come up with a plan that I am putting into play this season. I will continue to go to practice 4 nights a week, but I am going to try harder and push myself to the limits, Coach T always says if you are not falling you are not trying hard enough. For the 2 practices that are drills, I am just going to do drills and I guess fall, I will listen to the people who are better than me and take their advice. I will have to work twice as hard as most people but that is what it takes to make a roster. I am not the player who bitches about play time and says that I put in the time so play me more, or the girl who feels that I do a lot for my team that does not involve skating so I should get put on rosters.
I have a plan to work hard, learn the rules and get better. I tried to have a goal of maybe jamming a game this season, or getting MVP at a bout or getting a star award from my team after a bout but I needed to be realistic and those things are not going to happen – so I had to make a goal that was realistic and that goal is to get most improved skater at the end of season party. It’s something that I can get because I don’t have to be great to get it just better than I am now. Assessments are this week (2/16/2012)…Will I make A team? Not a chance in hell. Will I make B team? Maybe not. Will I be the girl who does not get to skate this season? It’s a possibility…but no matter what I will help my team in any way I can and that may mean having better girls make the roster but one day I will be one of those better girls and some other girl can resort to slashing tires so not everybody makes attendance.