I had my first real bout last weekend against ROCK. The floor was terrible, like they waxed it the night before and warm ups made me nervous because I could not skate. I felt I did ok, not great-there was the wrist guard incident. However in the days after the bout some things happened. I got compliments a one skater said something about my trapping getting much better which shocked me and me happy because I do respect that skater. Monday at practice one of the FNGs told me she saw an amazing difference in my skating last season and my bout on Saturday. At first I was weird about this, what right did a new girl have to say I was bad last season and then I stopped and thought more about it. Who cares, she was saying I did well and that is what matters.
At practice on Monday one of the EDs came up to me and said I did good at practice because I was being forced to do things and said on scrimmage nights I need to be more forceful. I am going to my practices and they have changed some. Monday is like derby pre-school now and it is so much fun. Not many people come on Mondays so I get a lot of individual attention and instructions which is helping me. More importantly, it’s bringing the fun back to derby for me we goof off a little and play around. I don’t feel like I will mess everything up for my team if I do something wrong. It was also pointed out to me that I have to do things on Mondays, I can’t depend on the stronger players to do things and I just follow or hope they push me into someone; I have to do it or push someone. If they would ever let me line dance on skates at practice my dreams would come true.
I made the decision that I am going to treat this like my rookie season, the season why I just try things and if I fail I fail but I learn. I can’t worry that if I mess up I screw things up for the team. It’s practice and if they get mad at me for trying and messing up then that’s their problem not mine. Trying is what helps not hoping some magic skating fairy will visit me at night and make me a star. Derby pre-school is what is helping me with all that. So on Thursday scrimmages now I am not going to try and go out with the strongest players, I may go out with the new girls or when girls are in the box because that will make me work and do things. If I go out with A team I depend on them to tell me what to do and then just skate around and watch and don’t learn anything.
I still have the goal of most improved skater at the end of season banquet and to win that I have to get noticed and to get noticed I have to do things and derby pre-school will help me with that.
-Shaken and Stirred